No more night shifts for my poorly penis


Old man seeks justice for limp genitals

A 68-year-old man proud of his love making ability has accused police officers of beating him up so badly that he is no longer able to satisfy women in bed.

Although Maun Magistrate Court acquitted him of trading in elephant tusks on Tuesday – a charge that carries a possible ten-year sentence – Aritoko Dubu is not a happy man.

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The elder, of Gudigwa settlement in the North West District, is planning to sue the police for P1 million compensation.

He claims that when officers arrested him back on 13 March 2014, they tortured him, repeatedly kicking him in his groin and whipping his waist.

According to Dubu, in-between beatings he was suffocated with a plastic bag and fainted about four times.

The traditional herbalist, who admits that for many years he enjoyed sex with other women in the village besides his wife, says the assault left him with erectile problems.

“I cannot get it up. They castrated me. The women have left me because I can no longer satisfy them. Only my wife is at home, waiting for me!” declared Dubu, who has six children with his wife but has reportedly fathered many more outside his matrimonial home.

Speaking to Okavango The Voice outside court minutes after he had been declared innocent, it was clear the aging lothario was more concerned about his weak willy than his not guilty verdict.

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“I was humiliated in front of my family, beaten up while half naked. I was kicked in my balls and now I can no longer father any children.

“The women have left me because there is no longer sweetness in the blankets. My manhood is unable to stand for the night shifts and it is a painful experience because I know the kind of sweetness I am missing out on!” grumbled the poetic herbalist, who allegedly specialised in preparing charms to help poachers elude law enforcement officers.

Dubu was detained in 2014 accused of dealing and trading in elephant tusks.

This was after five Namibians were caught in their country with the tusks and claimed to have bought them from him.

According to the police, P8, 800 and a rifle were confiscated from Dubu’s house at the time of arrest.

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The old man contended through his attorney, Lesego Phoi of Phoi and Associates law firm, that the money was not proceeds of tusks sale but rather of the cattle he had sold.

He further insisted that the police took more money than they had presented before court, claiming the confiscated cash actually amounted to P31, 000.

“Though I find the evidence of the accused to be improbable, I prefer his evidence to that of the prosecution. The prosecution has failed to sufficiently put forward a strong case against the accused person,” ruled the court, before subsequently ordering that the rifle and P8, 800 be returned to Dubu.

If the aggrieved elder has his way, he will be receiving a lot more cash from the state soon. For Dubu, however, even P1 million is not enough to make up for the ruin that is his once proud penis.

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