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No more night shifts for my poorly penis



Old man seeks justice for limp genitals

A 68-year-old man proud of his love making ability has accused police officers of beating him up so badly that he is no longer able to satisfy women in bed.

Although Maun Magistrate Court acquitted him of trading in elephant tusks on Tuesday – a charge that carries a possible ten-year sentence – Aritoko Dubu is not a happy man.

The elder, of Gudigwa settlement in the North West District, is planning to sue the police for P1 million compensation.

He claims that when officers arrested him back on 13 March 2014, they tortured him, repeatedly kicking him in his groin and whipping his waist.

According to Dubu, in-between beatings he was suffocated with a plastic bag and fainted about four times.

The traditional herbalist, who admits that for many years he enjoyed sex with other women in the village besides his wife, says the assault left him with erectile problems.

“I cannot get it up. They castrated me. The women have left me because I can no longer satisfy them. Only my wife is at home, waiting for me!” declared Dubu, who has six children with his wife but has reportedly fathered many more outside his matrimonial home.

Speaking to Okavango The Voice outside court minutes after he had been declared innocent, it was clear the aging lothario was more concerned about his weak willy than his not guilty verdict.

“I was humiliated in front of my family, beaten up while half naked. I was kicked in my balls and now I can no longer father any children.

“The women have left me because there is no longer sweetness in the blankets. My manhood is unable to stand for the night shifts and it is a painful experience because I know the kind of sweetness I am missing out on!” grumbled the poetic herbalist, who allegedly specialised in preparing charms to help poachers elude law enforcement officers.

Dubu was detained in 2014 accused of dealing and trading in elephant tusks.

This was after five Namibians were caught in their country with the tusks and claimed to have bought them from him.

According to the police, P8, 800 and a rifle were confiscated from Dubu’s house at the time of arrest.

The old man contended through his attorney, Lesego Phoi of Phoi and Associates law firm, that the money was not proceeds of tusks sale but rather of the cattle he had sold.

He further insisted that the police took more money than they had presented before court, claiming the confiscated cash actually amounted to P31, 000.

“Though I find the evidence of the accused to be improbable, I prefer his evidence to that of the prosecution. The prosecution has failed to sufficiently put forward a strong case against the accused person,” ruled the court, before subsequently ordering that the rifle and P8, 800 be returned to Dubu.

If the aggrieved elder has his way, he will be receiving a lot more cash from the state soon. For Dubu, however, even P1 million is not enough to make up for the ruin that is his once proud penis.


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How Gov bluddered on first Corona virus death



*Hundreds exposed to the virus

Government secrecy and unreliable communication this week dealt a devastating blow to the fight against Corona virus, exposing hundreds of people to infection in Gaborone and surrounding areas.

As people reeled from the announcement of the first Corona Virus death in the country on Tuesday afternoon, it has emerged that government had known about the 79- year- old Ramotswa woman’s status since Thursday last week and concealed the information both to the family and mortuary that handled her body.

On Wednesday afternoon traumatised Babereki Ka Lorato Mortuary staff spoke of how they were unnecessarily exposed to the deadly virus.

Speaking in an interview with The Voice Newspaper on Wednesday, the concerned Chairman of the mortuary, Martin Gabokake said the woman was brought in a body bag on Friday.

“Our employees asked why someone who had died at Bamalete Lutheran hospital a day before was brought in a body bag and they were told she died of asthma, and so they let the body in and handled it in the manner they normaly handle all other bodies,” Gabobake explained.

He went on further to explain that it was only yesterday that to their shock and horror the staff was told of the true nature of the old woman’s passing.
“ Had we been told the truth to begin with, the body would have been handled in a safer way. The fact that they brought her in a body bag means they new something and they blatantly lied to us,” Gabobake said.

Her funeral was also not accorded the security screening associated with Covid-19 deaths, a source has revealed. Health officials have since asked villagers who had attended the old woman’s funeral to submit for testing as they to may have been exposed to the virus.

This was another terrible blunder by government. Had they disclosed that the old woman had died of COVID -19 or even told us that she was a suspected case, most of us would have kept away,” said the source.

Meanwhile government moved to quarantine 14 family members on Tuesday. All mortuary employees and close associates of the woman were also locked up for observation on Wednesday.

Colleagues of the deceased grandson, who works for a local hotel, have also been summoned for mandatory testing.

“Her grandson (name known to this publication) continued working with us and it was business as usual. He did not know his grandmother had the virus and died from it. They were very close. He is the one who took care of her and took her for hospital visits,” the worried colleague has revealed.

Efforts to get a comment from the grandson were futile at the time of going to press. In a telephone interview from quarantine he told The Voice that he wished for privacy.

Botswana has recorded one death as a result of the COVID-19 with three positive cases currently stable at the Sir Ketumile Teaching Hospital in Gaborone.

There are 189 negative results, 593 lab test performed and 1856 people currently on quarantine.

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Politicians clash over Covid-19 meeting



The fight against Covid-19 stepped into the periphery of partisan politics this week as the absence of Umbrella for Democratic Change (UDC) leaders sparked accusations and counter-accusations over their invitation to President Mokgweetsi Masisi’s closed meeting.

UDC President, Duma Boko and party vice president, Dumelang Saleshando, were not part of the delegation that attended the three-hour long meeting.

Although Masisi stated that Boko, like other party leaders was invited, the UDC has vehemently denied the claim.

In a press release that was issued last night the UDC said. “We have noted the events that have been evolving around the Covid-19 pandemic, its a serious matter that requires all of us to work genuinely. We value and encourage national dialogue on important matters such as the fight against Covid 19. The truth is that the UDC president has not received any invitation from Office of the President and we call OP to provide proof.”

However, when the UDC Spokesperson, Moeti Mohwasa was asked about calls made to him by OP, he said, ” I was asked about Boko’s whereabouts by Kaelo Molefe and I told him I was in Phikwe. I asked him to check him at his house. This morning I got another call from Professor Mpho Molomo who said he had Boko’s invitation to a meeting with President Masisi and I suggested that they go to his house, an address which is popular within the government enclave. I indicated to him that I had received a similar call from Kaelo Molefhe and he said he was with him. Kaelo knows where Boko stays having been his associate in the build-up to the 2014 General Elections. So quite frankly I doubt he would say he does not know Boko’s house. As regards Nick and Keorapetse I cannot comment on their behalf, ” explained Mohwasa last night.

Dithapelo Keorapetse too said that the OP was being playful. “Why would they contact me for DGB? They are aware of his PA, VP, Secretary General, Spokesperson and UDC NEC. These are the people from who to check him. Whoever wants the UDC President from me for official things is playing. The state has been to his house several times. How did they suddenly forget his place of abode? Even Kaelo knows Boko’s House from his UDC days, ” said Keorapetse.

The accusations did not go well with the BDP Chairman of Communications, Kagelelo Kentse, who expressed concern that the UDC was turning a pandemic into a political mudsling.

He said that all efforts including calls, text, WhatsApp messages to Boko, Moeti, Keorapetse and Boko’s bodyguard were made without any success. “There is a communication trail to prove this. UDC must know when to come to the table and be patriotic on issues on national interest such as COVID-19, its very disappointing for a party calling themselves an alternative government to behave in this manner but Batswana are watching and we know they will punish them for this.”

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